The old saying goes “good things come to those who wait.” For John and Megan Wilcox, nothing could be more true.
They met several years ago, but waited until they knew each other better to become serious in their dating—and even after monogamous dating, they waited until they were sure about each other before they were engaged.
Sex before marriage was out of the question.
“In a relationship, it’s very easy for the physical things to be the foundation. It’s easy to mistake physical attraction as love,” Megan explains. “Yes, love leads to physical attraction and expression—but that isn’t everything.”
“While we were dating, and even now in our marriage, we look to model our love for each other from the perfect example of God’s love,” John continues.
They both knew as their love blossomed that this would be a big task involving a lot of discipline spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
“It is crucial to our marriage that we remember who we both are, and Whose we both are!” he adds.
That’s not to say that you must have yourself all figured out before you can date, they acknowledge. “That would mean you’d never start dating!” one of them says with a chuckle.
“But it does mean that you receive and experience and walk in the love of Christ, first!” the other explains.
How, they reason, can you commit to a lifetime of loving another person’s mind, body, and soul if you don’t know what love really is?
“When you are in a relationship with God you learn patience, you learn humility, you learn selflessness, you learn grace; and all of that comes in handy every day you’re married,” Megan says. “Especially patience!” (laughing).
“In the life of a Christian, building on any foundation other than Christ is a no-go,” John warns. “Waiting for each other sexually opened us up to begin walking in that truth. Our lives had to be committed to Christ for us to commit to each other.”
At the time of this interview, John and Megan are working in joint ministry at The Salvation Army’s Kroc Corps Center in Augusta, Georgia. Both feel called to become Salvation Army Officers, so a further life-commitment is in their future, beginning at the training college.
“The Lord placed that on our hearts even before we were together,” Megan says. “But we’ve had to learn how to work and minister effectively together.”
Although they haven’t been married as long as the period of time they waited before making that life-altering decision, they agree it’s been an interesting experience to learn the answers to questions, like “What are John’s gifts? What are Megan’s gifts? How can these gifts work in tandem?”
“We see a long road of ministry ahead of us, and serving Jesus along the way helps us to grow towards that calling—and each other!” John says.
Major Frank Duracher, Assistant Editor